Planning Your Wishes

Planning Your Funeral: Why Your Wishes Matter

Discussion of death do not have to be scary. It's true, as a culture we find talking about death, dying, funeral wishes to be awkward. Be assured, these conversations are much easier ahead of the time of need.

Noting down your wishes is one of the most loving things you can do for the people you'll leave behind. Planning ahead puts you in control. It protects your family from having to make difficult decisions while they're grieving and it ensures the farewell you receive is truly yours.

Your funeral, your choices. What are your options?

Here at Thereafter knowing your options is central to our services. 

Funeral Services: Burial, Cremation, a beautiful Last Supper. Your options are wide.
Locations - Funerals are not restricted to a cemetery or crematorium
Personal choices - From coffins, to cars, to style of gathering

Take you time to to fully understand how you funeral can be tailored to suit and reflect you. 
Explore, discuss and share with those who you care about and who care about you. 

The Benefits of Planning Ahead

Eliminate the fear of getting it wrong 
Bereavement is confusing and exhausting. Asking grieving people to make urgent decisions about a funeral adds enormous pressure. Your plan helps lift that weight.

Financial peace of mind

Grief is difficult enough let alone with the addition of financial stress. Funeral costs continue to rise. Planning ahead lets you explore options calmly and budget clearly.

Planning ahead is not the same as A Pre-Paid Financial Funeral Plan

Being aware of the cost of your wishes is wise. We highly advise you ring fence this money. If you wish to invest it in something for yourself then do. Should you wish to know more, speak with one of our team who can signpost you to independent financial advisors.

Free yourself to focus on living

Believe it or not, having end of life in hand can be liberating. When this is sorted, it's sorted. You can put your energy into the life you're building and the legacy you're leaving, not the admin of your eventual departure.

Anchoring Grief

When your family knows the farewell they gave you was the one you wanted, they can let go of doubt and simply be present. In time, your funeral can become a cherished memory of the love you shared.

What to Include in Your Plan

Keep it seasonal and sensible

None of us know exactly when we'll die, so avoid hyper-specific requests that may be impossible to fulfil. Daffodils in December or Holly berries in July are more trial than tribute.
Themes, colours and symbolic meanings travel beautifully across seasons.

The gift of participation

Losing someone you love is unquestionably a life changing experience. Funerals are transformative events. Whilst guidelines of your wishes are incredibly helpful giving space for people contribute is invaluable.
The simple act of gathering, doing, placing an object, singing together, taking away a card helps us move through grief.

Consider moments of connection, not just observation.

Engage the senses

Scent - flowers, candles
Sound - music, birdsong
Sight - photographs, colours
Touch - something to hold
Taste - food you love
Spiritual or ritual elements that matter to you

Your final place of rest. What to do with ashes?

This is often overlooked but is equally as important as giving guidance on your funeral wishes. 
Letting go is unfathomably  difficult. Not only give yourself a final resting place but a place for grief to be anchored. 

Create a positive impact with your goodbye 
Learn more on our What To Do With Ashes section

Death in the digital age

Digital presence is still relatively new. Your photos, social media and online accounts will outlast you.
Decide in advance what happens to them, and make sure someone trusted holds the keys.
Remaining present can be helpful and a communal space of remembrance. It can also keep raw wounds open. 

Have that conversation

Avoiding the topic doesn't make it easier. Talking openly about death, even briefly, helps everyone become more comfortable and prepared.

It also opens the door for those closest to you to share their own wishes.  That conversation is a gift, long before loss arrives.

If a direct, unattended cremation is requested, please be sure you discuss and understand trade-offs.
Think carefully about what will serve those you leave behind, not just the practicalities.Time to note down your wishes?

Book a call. At Thereafter Funeral Services, we'll guide you through every decision, gently, honestly and without pressure or obligation.